MY STORY

Thriver Thinking ..... From Survivor to Thriver: I had a severe brain injury as a result of falling off a boogie-board in shallowwater in the surf at Peregian Beach on the Sunshine Coast of Queensland, Australia in December 1995 .... as simple as that. That was over thirteen years ago. I have written my story ' which outlines howto be a victor though the worst situations in life ....... 'The Rose Water Story' can be downloaded as The Rose Water Story 6 KB. I attribute my ongoing recovery primarily to my Christian Spirituality which has brought healing, restoration and transformation of life purpose. A Christian spirituality comes as a consequence of having a ChristianWorldview. It isn'tanother Spirituality in the Post Modern Culture of many spiritualities which areall seen to be equal. It is a unique Spirituality whichintegrates the whole of life..... of the Inner, Middle and Outer Persons {Spirit, Soul (= mind, will and emotions) and the Body}. It means being a disciple of the Person of Jesus Christ, not a follower of a Church as a Corporation. Christian Spirituality could also be termeda Spirituality from Jesus Christ. The heart of a Christian spirituality is having an new identity through Jesus Christ. When you have an identity, you then have a purpose for being here. The link between an identity and purpose is the structural axis for restoration from a brain injury or maintaining a healthy direction in life for anyone. Late in 2005 I was talking to my friend Wayne Spyve. He mentioned this really wonderful concept to which something within me immediately responded. He said I should move from seeing myself as being a Brain Injury Survivor, and think of myself and others who had been through similar challenges, to seeing myself as a Brain Injury Thriver. This radically changed the way I saw myself, my relationships and my ability to influence others. My spirit kept calling out "You are a Thriver, not just a Survivor". _________________________________________ The Context Of My Brain-injury: I ran a small Landscape Design and Construction Company called ‘New Earth Systems P/L’ for 20 years doing very creative, individual designer gardens for wealthy residential clients around Brisbane . I was an artistic sort of person, a lateral thinker ..... more artist than businessman. I thought of landscape it as a three-dimensional piece of space which people walked through. This space changed with time as it grew with the time of day: shadows vs. sun patterns, boulders, colour, plants, trees, earth-forms, solid structures and water. These were the ingredients in a subtle flow of landscape design and construction. Rather an intangible product to sell and run a business with!! From this I built a structure for my life: my marriage with Harriet, business and the house plus we had a family. See the website on the house here. However as I had a focus on creativity rather then on a successful business outcomes, this led to fragmentary results. My severe brain injury was over thiteen years ago. I am now in a new season of life. I went through a real transformation of life whereby I went from being: 1. Physical Gardener (Outer Sustainability) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 2. Inner Life Gardener (Inner Sustainability) Inner Sustainability: In an ongoing personal sense of core value from within. Sustainability I have come to see, has to be a wholistic view on life of Inner, Middle and Outer Persons. Problems come because things do not change from the Outside to Inside but from the Inside to the Outside. This side of the accident, I have come \to see all people as made in the image or likeness of God. Even though people may be broken people, we can all be restored through Jesus Christ back into that image of God again. The result of my accident was such that I was: o In a coma for four weeks for six months. I felt like a three year old child in the first week after I woke up from the coma with no control over my actions o Had to learn to walk, talk, eat solid food all over again I had to learn everything over again .... how dress myself etc. Get my brain back together from a very scrambled state I lost a lot of intuitive ability to feel what other people are saying ..... although that has come back now The one major thing that has come out of this accident is that I am on a permanent life-long Income Protection Policy where I went from virtually no work in 1995 to where I didn't have to ever work again. I talk more about this in my story 'The Rose Water Story'. That is real God-coincidence as to how I came to have that in place four months before the accident I didn't know I was going to have. Now you cannot get these policies at all in Australia for business people. That is God.Thirteen years on, I wouldn't doing a fraction of what am doing now with principle of being synergistically linked to others. This has occurred in the following ways: Harriet my Wife: First and foremost is my wife Harriet who would drive every day to see me ..... for six months even while I was in a four week coma. Harriet drove from Chambers Flat from where we live, to Woolloongabba at the Princess Alexander Hospital. Finding a park outside the hospital and walking in made journey of at least an hour. That was a journey of 30 kms. each way. After the visit she had the long journey home again. This generous support which I received, was a very important part of my recovery. Many other patients are not so fortunate. My Family: In 2008 (now thirteen years on) it has become very close again like a little community in and of itself, all members working for the common good. This is because we all share in a common, a sustainable life of structure, spirituality and social network. I have two children .... Claire and Anthony .... they have been very supportive of me. Support from Friends: I not only had excellent support from my wife but many, many friends throughout my hospitalisation where nearly 100 ++ people came to see me over six months. Some people I hadn't seen for fifteen years. My mind was not very good then but some friends would sit and read for hours beside my bed Money from Friends: As soon as my injury occurred in December 1995, friends who I hadn't from for years, phoned Harriet from down south even in other states to see how I was. People began to send notes of encouragement to her with sometimes gifts of money. _____________________________________________________ Inner and Outer Life: Everyone of us has a private space in our lives that we carefully guard. I call it ‘The Garden of Life’ A garden is a personal space you can go out into and to enjoy the peace, the cool air, the shadows of trees, the sun shining with translucent light through tree leaves and palm fronds, the perfume of beautiful blossoms. No one else comes there except yourself and your family. Even friends do not just drop in. They are invited out there with you after you have let them into your house. Strangers who come are intruders and will be dwelt with by the police. It is the same with relationships.You have enter someone’s inner life with their consent. You do thisby valuing the person and listening intently to what they say. Bylistening intently (consciously in a rational way and unconsciouslywith your intuition), you are as it were gently knocking on the door of their inner house. If that person trusts you, they will then invite youinto the garden of their life. Then you can talk gently back and forth, establishing a relationship with them. They will then open their door of their inner life at a later time if you knock. Keeping that process going is a Sustainable Relationship. If I act suspiciously or try and crash the door with a sledge hammer, I will not be let in. That is what I call an Unsustainable Relationship. ________________________________________ Transformation of life purpose: I have developed a passion to build inner community with many people around the world, especially by e-mail. As I am on a permanent life-long Income, I have time to spend with people in a way I could never do in my busy business. Even though I cannot drive at the moment after thirteen years, I have learnt to drive on the Internet and see hundreds of people at the same time. Since 2001, I have started the following three e-mail broadcasts plus websites which have been designed free of cost for me: Brain Injury Survivor Network (BISN) for Brain Injury People': I help facilitate the Brain Injury Survivor Network and an international blog site through Blogger (see http://www.blogger.com). I have brain injury survivors all over the world I am in contact with: Australia England America Singapore Canada Zimbabwe etc. Statistics for brain injury in QLD: There are apparently 11,000 people a year in Queensland (one of seven states in Australia) who finish up with a brain injury from various causes. Of those who survive, 4000 of these people will be permanently disabled in some way with reduced brain function capabilities. Less than two hundred of these can expect to receive the quality of care and further rehabilitation they need let alone deserve. Of those with a permanent brain injury, up to fifty percent of marriages and relationships will fold up. It is a big silent epidemic in our community. You can see someone in a wheelchair but you cannot see all the invisible changes that have gone on with a brain-injury. · 'Ken and Harriet’s Place' e-mail broadcast See http://kenandharrietsplace.blogspot.com/..... to lighten up your day .... bring some fun, laughter and a different perspective on life. ·‘New Earth Community’ e-mail broadcast: A website on a new community around the world called ‘New Earth Community’ …. A community linked by the Internet in Cyberspace. This community is meant to bring a new sense of belonging with the a real discovery or affirmation of identity through the Sustainable Life. The basis of this life is one which has the ability to be continually renewed and maintained. This life has three elements to it: Structure gives order, direction, aims and overall purpose Spirituality gives ultimate significance. It is the inner room of your life which answers such questions as: Who are we as people?, What is the meaning of life?, Are we significant?, What values should I live by?, what gives identity and destiny __________________________________